My Blog

Yay! The competition is over, the winners are on their journey to a bigger challenge next month..and we’re always there to support them =)

To the others who didn’t make it too far, well, there are always chances out there, probably yours will be here anytime soon..to the others, maybe there are other things that suits you more =)

Everything has come to an end..and we ought to live our own lives, going our own way. It’s up to us to choose, whether to be persistent on the decision in our minds, or to give it up and take an ordinary path. There is no 1 best choice, it depends on us to make the best out of the choice.

And for those who are off to the road of fame and entertainment, I wish you the best in all you do. God Bless you all. =)

Our lives are not the same, some are destined to be famed, some are to be filled with happiness of life..do not be dissapointed, but rather appreciate what God has given to you. For He loves us, and gives us the best. We might not know, and we were never satisfied, coz that’s not what we wanted.

Just like a father, who sees that his kid will be putting himself in danger if he plays with fire. He will do whatever it takes to stop him from hurting himself. He sees the bigger picture, and protect you when things have not happened. You might be angry with him, you might hate him, you might never wanna talk to him again, but he will never hate you. Instead, he will try his best to love you more, and hope that you will realise someday.

Yes, i must say that life must be at least be meaningful for once. Because, there are so many other meaningful things in life that we must know how to appreciate. I will pursue my passion, but i will never forget the other meaningful things in life.

God’s love is so abundant, that I will never forget. For in God, all things are possible. Live life with God, do everything with His presence, He will bless you, and you will prosper.

I’m missing you all….

It is true that in the process of achieving goals, there bound to be lots of challenges. There are lots of disagreement; people will not be happy with our decisions, relationships are affected because of this particular goal in life. Which is why I understand now that there are only a few successfull goal achievers in life.

And one has to think about the consequences that would affect their own lives. Sometimes, it is either achieving that goal, or losing something else that is more valuable and possibly the happiness of life. That goal may be a one timed off achievement in life, and by foregoing the other priorities would mean losing life’s happiness.

It takes lots of courage, and also whether it is worth all the sacrifices for that certain goal. No wonder so few people had lived their dream. No wonder there are so many ordinary people. It’s not what they want, it’s just what they chose to be. And we live life meaninglessly. And we live regretting that we did not take the chance. How sad.

I’m very confused sometimes. If I forgo this goal, I know I’ll be regretting, and I mean for life. To be honest, it is not easy, striving for survival, in the mean time trying to uphold and not forgetting to sustain my goal. Because it needs time, and I cannot take a lil extra more time to work. I’ve tried it before, and it did not work.

Or maybe this is just the process of growing up. Think about it, it is at this time, this age, that one has the chance, the energy and time to go for it. Why not making full use of this time instead?

I really do hope that dreams and happiness doesn’t collide. It will be at the point where a choice has to be made, which, when DILEMMA comes in… =(

I hate this, I really do.

All I can do now is, to hang on to God, and see what He has in stored for me. I know He has a plan for me. It is just up to me to listen n follow, or go my own way. I know things would not be right if I chose to go on my own. Father, please show me the right path, for I do not want to make unnecessary sacrifices.

Oh, did i mention it was a 5-days trip? yeah, it was way too rush for anything..but surprisingly, we covered lotsa places, ate lotsa food and done lotsa shopping..hehe, but maybe 2 more days would be better, arrgh, i miss HK!

Let me see, we’ve gone to Disneyland n Ocean Park at least, n covered Tsim Tsa Tsui, Jordan, Causeway Bay, Mongkok n Sai Yeong Choi Street (Lui Yan Kai), all by walking, LOL

Wow, that was very hectic; imagine walking the whole day..without the MTR we would’ve probably be half dead, haha, everybody walks here. Not many people can afford cars, n the roads are way too small that’s only enough to fit public transports n luxurious cars..people look like ants on the streets.

Nevertheless, the food was great. Oh, we’re never worried about eating too much, coz it’ll be burnt up during our "street-walkathon"..LOL, seriously, i’ve never been walking like that all my life..good excercise

Oh, n not to mention shopping, wow..put me on the streets filled with shops n boutiques, I’ll go crazy n see me sleeping in one of’em =P N i think most of my cash had gone buying souvenirs..yikes..

This was my 1st trip to A Disneyland; they told me it wasn’t really impressive. Oh well ya, the fact that they’ve been to the other great ones and I didn’t, i felt this was really an eye-opener n a good start for me though. Nevermind the ticket price, it’s really a good experience for me.. =)

Ohmigosh, the dolphins n seals in Ocean Park were sooooo cuteeee! I’ve seen them on tv, but this is…it’s so different seeing them live..awwww….

To be honest, i was rather heavy-hearted to pack up and head to the airport on the last day; there’s still so much to go n see! =( But it’s a motivation for me to earn myself a trip, at least i’m not gonna be stuck in the ‘"well" anymore, thanks so much to bebe n family, u guys really took care of me..Thank God for u bebe =)

1 word in all to describe the whole thing- SYOK!

Time passes..yeah, real fast. It’s been almost a month since I’ve seen the guys in ATQ, it’s been a long time since we last got together….

I’ve actually been keeping up with their updates thru the webpage &thru their personal blogs..well, Astro posted some of the flashback photoes and some recordings of our own voices..it made me revised the past again..what a memory =)

Looking at some of our "surviving" buddies’ blogs, I felt a lil’ concern for some of’em..the fact that the things they’re going thru rite now made me realised that sometimes, challenges can actually pull you real down, and it’s up to you whether you would have enough courage, strength n power to move on. Or maybe, it may be treated as a game, but for some, they’re just to young and it’s their 1st step to experience the challenges..

Honestly, it really concerns me to see them like this, and then i felt so helpless..coz i don’t think i even know how to handle it myself, and I really do hope that i could just give’em a lil support and to keep’em in prayer so that God will protect n bless them..

My dear friends, everything that one goes thru in life are filled with challenges; some u might be able to overcome, some u might not. But ultimately, the choice is yours to take up the challenge and have victory over it, or choose to give up and live ur life never gaining that one experience that may actually make u grow and understand more in life..

Take everything as an experience, if you fail, try again! Nobody had not failed before they succeeded, even Thomas Edison tried 1999 times to light the bulb. Instead, he said, "I have actually found 1999 ways how not to make the bulb work".

Take everything positively, and you’ll live life happier. For God didn’t bring us to this world to see us fail, but wants the best for us, because He loves us. He wants us to grow and fluorish in life, so that we may learn how to depend on Him and experience His Love..and He is always there for us. =)

"Hey, u look very familiar, for a glimpse, i thought u look like Jessica Alba, and oh, didn’t i tell u that u sound like Janice?"

Zen de ma?? I’ve heard that countless times..Hmm…i hope they’re not saying this just to make me happy, haha =P

Oh yeah, there’s a very obvious similarity; our names start with the letter "J" =D

Yeah, both of them are whom i look up to…I like them, honestly…Even before I was "associated" with them..haha

Janice? I’m totally in love with her voice…^^

Oh well, yeah, i realise that our singing styles are somewhat similar..but honestly, i know i’m way too far from her…as in, i need to buck up on the techniques; like breathing, and the strength!

Jessica Alba? She’s cool, and she rocks big time!

Hmm, maybe because I don’t look like a pure-bred chinese…that’s why. Yeah, people will go "Ya, boleh tolong?" to me at the counters… =S the fact that I look tanned doesn’t really mean that I have to be a Malay…hmm…

And they have to call me "guai mui jai" at times…. double =S

Being brought up in Ipoh, of coz i speak cantonese, but then it wasn’t of the purest, coz i’m more exposed to err…the western culture?

Yikes…I’m more like a Rojak now, people around me now speaks more mandarin and hokkien, and i’m having communication barriers at times. What to do, Penang is a very ‘chinese-sy’ place..sigh, sometimes I’m really confused….

it’s just another day at work, one of the waiters joined the "cap gang", haha, wonder why imm chi had to shorten her hair…kinda short ya?? =P

Oh well, for me, it’s just Joni…and me alone. There were no intentions to be like anybody, but of my own nature and personality.

Perhaps humans sometimes do share some common attributes; the fact that the world’s population is >6billion to date and rising. No surprise.

Arrrghh…..

It’s already over for some of us, those wonderful days have past, and it’s back to our normal lives again..i wonder when will it be this exciting for me again..

Yikes, honestly, i have not been able to get the "ATQ-fever" out of my head!! Maybe becoz it was aired from time to time, and every single day! We’ve been updated everyday about the things that happened though, it was over, but there were some we didn’t have the chance to see until they were aired..=(

And the breaking down moments of me being dis-Qed…yikes… =((

Yup, it really led me to tears myself when i see myself on stage. The fact that i didn’t do my best, and there were lots of areas of improvement..sad to hear, but good to know =)

Time is 3:11am

The 2nd round preliminaries was aired this evening..err, i mean yesterday to be exact, haha. Well, i guess it was the most touching of all rounds i suppose; coz for the next few rounds, i rarely saw anyone crying, haha =P

Yeah, it ought to be, coz the both of us had expected for our elimination on the very same nite..

Hou Yan, i have to salute you! You are the greatest and most appreciated happy go lucky buddy among us all! We’re really touched; didn’t you know that you made us teary?? ;~)

As for me, it was obvious, it’s a serious mistake; what happen to my lyrics?? This had no doubt broke me down, and there was no courage left to sing for the "2nd chance"-round… =(

Silly me, being ever stubborn, I did not really took anybody’s advice seriously, but rather trying to steered things at my own direction…well, i guess I’d pay the price for this, and I’ve learnt what i call, a PRECIOUS lesson n experience. At least, quitting my job wasn’t at all a wrong thing to do. =)

Fellow judges, you guys were right. You’ve pointed out my weakness that I have conciously hidden and ignored. You guys were the only people that i presumed was qualified enough to pursuade me to face weakness right at my face! Xie Xie ni men! =)

This proves 1 thing; I’m not there yet, not even to the level where I deemed myself satisfactory, shakey and not powerful enough it seems, it seemed..i’m gonna buck up!

From now on, no more indecisive-ness and no more ignorance, just set my goals right in front, and set my priorities right! Look, aim n get going!

Thanks to all of you out there who gave me ur support, it means a lot to me, especially to the ones close to me, and the rest of my fellow contestant buddies and the crew…you guys are just simply the best! =)

I have to say Goodbye to the stage and my fellow buddies for now, but I will be supporting all of you all the way! =)

I am and I will make a come back!

So what’s next?

Yup, I’ve been asking myself ever since training has ended..2 weeks for me to think it over..

Oh well, i thought i will not have to ponder on this issue for at least another month…silly me, I underestimated the outcome. Haha

Anyway, plans have been sought out, and this time the decision is for real. Not again pondering on the possibilities of the choices in front of me, but being decisive on the path that i’ve chosen and learn to set my priorities right..

I admit my priorities weren’t right before and being bound by lotsa commitments, and it was wrong, all wrong. And I’ve realize lotsa things and grown from it..this experience has thought me to become wiser and stronger, and I thank God for all of this.

Yup, I’m getting older, and it’s time to treat every experience as a lesson, and learn from it. MOst importantly, to be sure of what I want in the near future, and my goals. My goal is clear, and I want to strive for it. Not being indecisive anymore, but look to that goal and do my best to achieve it.

I shall not be pondering anymore, but set my eyes straight upon my goal. I will set my heart right with God, and understand what He really wants me to do in this point in life, and the future.

Father, please guide me and lead me in this path of life, for I do not want to dissapoint You, myself, my family and my loved ones. I want to lead a life that will be of the benefit of all of them and have the best that I can get in life. For everything that You will provide me with, I know it’s for the best of me. Please teach me how to Love others, not only my closest ones, but to others, as You would have loved them. And last but not least, please ket me be successful in life as You have planned for me. For I will praise You even in the hardest time of my life. Blessed Be Your Name. Thank You Father. Amen.

  Wow…time flies..and it’s already a month since I left my 2nd home, Penang to the "training ground" for the competition in Seri Pacific Hotel and Astro HQ..to my ups and downs in the competition..and our little trip to Cameron Highlands with my ATQ buddies..

Yeah..2 weeks of training together is a short time, but to me, it’s where we share our happiness and hardship together..and yeah, politics are always everywhere, and this is not an exception. Despite all that, trueness and friendship were all revealed and it is really something great to be appreciated..it might be the only chance of a lifetime with this group of people..but then again, memories will always stay n be treasured.

Our 3 days stay in Cameron Highlands brings a few of us further down along our experience of togetherness and friendship..It was really a getaway, with a new bunch of friends and happiness (is this the only word i could use to describe??) Together, we’ve gone to pick and "curi makan" strawberries, bought flowers (i wonder how did the flowers lasted to Johor and Sarawak, haha =P), to the Rose Garden, the market place- lotsa great food! and to BOH plantation and to one of the highest peak..wow, great scenery! Not to forget, the spa, LOL

It was the time to really bid goodbye to our "togetherness"..a few are going n going back to Johor, and the rest are returning to their homes. I’d to hang around in KL/Rawang for the roadshow over the weekend. Alright, yeah, i went to meet Ke Wang Laoshi for an opportunity; to be a host-a wish granted but not taken =(

The fact that there are lotsa other things to considered and it is a choice between what i want, and what i REALLY want! After deep thoughts and consideration, I decided to turn it down. Entertainment business ain’t really a good thing to be involved in..and most importantly, I know that I’m not ready to take it up. I’ve decided to give it another shot again, failure in this doesn’t mean failure in everything else..and I know I have lots and more opportunity if I’m willing to go for it and give it my best.

And most importantly, I know that it’s time to sit down and discuss with DaddY what my next step would be and what He wants in my life…yeah, dissapointment is one thing, but learning from dissapointment and improving from it is a better step…Thank You Daddy for using and taking care of me, i know He has a purpose for me.. Thank You!

I’m gonna miss my buddies, my pals who "retreated" and the others that are still in the "battle"..You guys are gonna be great! Please do your best, and I pray and ask God to bless and take care each and everyone of you! I’m excited for all of’em..it’s not gonna be easy to see anyone of you coming out at any round… =(

JIA YOU ATQ ‘07!!! God Bless and Love =)

Alright….that was my experience in a competition, not just an ordinary competition, but one that involves the country’s best people participating in one great competition..n not to mention, medias, press, would be lured to this event; Astro does not do this for nothing…haha

Hmm, i think for the most of you who are close to me, i think you should’ve known what the outcome is..yeah, top 10s are fresh out from the oven, n those are my friends! My great fellow buddies who lived together for 2 weeks training n competition..it was 2 weeks where we share our ups and downs, n the tears and laughter together…

It’s really precious, to get 20 of us together, having the same passion, doing the things we love most together, compete with each other but at the same time, help and care for each other…we do things that we will never do when we’re alone with other friends, n to me, it felt like I am not limited anymore, but free to express my passion out with everyone, it’s never weird to sing in front of them, coz they’ll actually join u =)

Nevertheless, the journey towards this path was hard..now I bet the others faced the same dilemma. As I’ve just graduated, it’s me between the real world and my passion..I’ve to go on a journey to fight for survival, or to pursue my passion..sounds pretty dreamy ey? Well, yeah, it may be..to many eyes, it seems impossible, n they say, "come back to reality!" Well i think that’s because they choose to play safe, as a matter of fact it’s not that safe after all.

It ain’t easy; from choosing to leave my mundane/safe/stable life to start a whole new path to join this competition..it’s real, coz it ain’t easy to get a fixed job nowadays, but then again, I’m still at the age where i can still make choices..And i’ve chosen what I preferred most. I’ve got lotsa advices, lotsa opinions, lotsa challenges n sacrifices..But this is how it’s done; there are bound to be such, and the strongest one will make it through all..For me, it’s just the beginning…

Then again, I always had this thought in mind; what is the meaning of life when you live just to fight for survival? Why not grab the opportunity when it comes by? I dont wanna live a common and mundane life, n I bet most of the people would agree to me on that, or else, I’ll be the only contestant running the whole show…LOL

Even ifit does not work out for me, at least I can convince myself that I’ve tried, and I have no regrets…living a life with regrets is certainly not very pleasant…I’d rather try something extraordinary =)

For me, it’s just gonna be a great experience, probably once in a lifetime, and it’s not easy to get..and the sacrifices I made was all worth while =) I’m glad God was with me throughout the whole process, and I thank Him for seeing me thru, n I know He has a plan for me =)